Dickson Tumuramye
While growing up, life may not be perfect as we may have wish. If it turns pessimistic, you tend to lose heart and almost give up. This affects your self-esteem and confidence. Those who are not ready to face life challenges end up in self-isolation/ rejection, but this should not be the case. It is even worse with children. This is the reason why instilling self-esteem in them is paramount.
Self-esteem influences our daily lives, affects our relationships, work performance and mental health. Low self-esteem can instill feelings of despair, shame, humiliation, anger, guilt and rejection as follows; Below are tips on how you can build your child’s self-esteem.
Use Words Of Affirmation
What a parent tells a child has a big impact on them than what someone else says. Do not neglect the words of affirmation to your children. It may not be their love language, but it assures a child of who they are, their identity and affirms to them what kind of track in life they are treading. Even God publicly affirmed that Jesus Christ was his son and he was pleased with him. Words like; ‘I love you’, ‘I am proud of you’ ‘you are a good child’, etc, bring life in them.
We also need to know what makes it hard for parents to speak positive words of encouragement and affirmation to their children. Some of the common reasons are that some parents do not know that it is important to speak positive words to their children. You are missing to raise confident children in your home because these children do not trust themselves or lack your emotional support.
Focus On The Strengths
We all have weaknesses in life but it is important to focus on the strengths of your child when he/she is growing up. This boosts their esteem and also builds their confidence. Weaknesses hinder them from self-appreciation and discovery; they fear risks and develop self-rejection.
Whether a child has a mental problem, any disability or challenge, focus on the positive side of their life and use that to improve their self-worth. Help them to find their weaknesses, and work on them, but not against them.
Making Their Own Choices
A child who makes age-appropriate choices feels more powerful and independent. They do not fear risks even when they batter failures. They want to keep trying and they learn from their own mistakes. Be there to give guidance as they pursue their interests as long as they are within reach but don’t be discouraging every time.
Encourage Them To Try New Things
You may notice that your child has a problem and fears getting out of his comfort zone. This should not daunt you. Or you may only be focusing on one thing they excel at. Let your child try as many things as they can because it is good for them to diversify. This exposes them to real-life issues and gives them a chance to explore life choices. Along the way, they will learn to be creative and develop problem-solving skills, which improve their self-esteem
Ability to Face Life Challenges
Children who are aware of themselves have the capability to face life challenges with confidence and can easily cope with them and pursue their dreams in the face of opposition. They will also confide in you in their daily life encounters. There is no fear between you and your child. They are assured of your feedback. They do not care what the results will be, but the fact that they have communicated to you makes a difference in their lives.
Develops Assertiveness
With such an assurance in your child, even when the approval may be negative, the child will perceive it positively because he knows that my father or mother rebukes me in love and the child will respond well. It takes away that doubt of someone’s identity. The chances are that such a child will not have self-rejection as he or she is growing up.
This does not only raise a child’s self-esteem and confidence, but you are also grooming an assertive child, fully aware of their rights because they believe in themselves. Think about it. How do you feel when your father or mother tells you, “my son/daughter, I love you and I am very proud of you!”
Self-confidence is a personality trait that can be improved. It is your primary responsibility as a parent to identify certain weaknesses in your child that put them down and help them to improve their self-esteem/ confidence. It is never too late and it can be done any time, regardless of age.
The writer is a child advocate
