(This article was published in the New Vision on June 15, 2022)
By Bob Kisiki
In the past, we kept tabs on our children while they were in boarding school by ensuring we utilised all the designated days schools allowed per term.
Some schools opened their gates to parents more times than others (I know of a school where it seemed like every weekend had an event that involved parents visiting), but even where it was just the traditional visitation day, it allowed parents the chance to check on their children’s welfare and monitor their academic progress.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic struck! Forget the close to two-year hiatus we spent with the children out of formal school; when schools were allowed to reopen, they did so with stringent terms. One of them s how they keep “their children” from contracting the deadly virus. Where one of our sons goes, it is no longer possible to see one’s child, unless she or he is either expelled or suspended from school, unwell or with some other reason, which the administration agrees is beyond them. Then they will allow you to access the child.
So in times such as these, how do we still ensure we keep in touch with our children, especially since the phones we buy them are not allowed in school? How will you keep tabs on their discipline, their health (some of them require special monitoring, because they have special conditions) and their academic progress? Shall we say COVID-19 changed things, and sit back till end of term, when they will be sent back home?
You should devise ways to check on your children, even without the possibility of seeing them. What we did for our primary school-going son, we befriended two teachers and the matron, whom we use as our channels of information to and from the boy. Even when there is nothing special, we tell the teacher, tell him we miss him and are praying for him. He should study diligently. When he is out of medication for this or that health challenge, he tells them and they tell us. Ditto when he needs a given drink or snack.
Some schools, however, are not as strict as our son’s. When you express the desire to see your child, they will make special arrangements for you to visit her/him. Though you may not take the usual tents you people used to carry to school on “VD”, with half the clan and half the contents of a grocery for the termly family picnic, at least you will be able to see and talk to the child. You will have opportunity to hear their challenges, which you can then discuss with the administration or even just individual teachers.
What this will achieve for you is that the child, seeing how much effort you have put into seeing them, will feel cared for and will settle down; reading their books and participating in the life of the school, knowing that their parents care for and are concerned about them.
An uncared for child, on the other hand, may end up doing things that go against the school law, if only to get some form of attention. Instead of risking such behaviour that could get the child in trouble with the school authorities, why not show them that you have their back?
The writer is a parenting counsellor and professional teacher
Leave feedback about this