By Augustus Munyandamutsa
With a sigh of relief, parents sent their children back to school last week. We hope that the time spent at home was utilised well by both parents and children.
It is one not-so stressed fact that many parents do not know much about their children. Most of what they know about their children is what the school reports say.
Some children are strangers to their parents. Once, a parent frantically called me asking for advice and prayer for his son whom he had just discovered had dropped out of school three years ago.
He had sent his son to a prestigious university, paid all dues, only to learn from a colleague that his son was not on the graduation list.
The boy confessed to having studied only half of the first semester. He was confronted with real study rigours and early adulthood stress factors for which he was not prepared and he fled from the hard work. He duped the parents who kept funding his stay in posh hostels in the city.
When I asked the father when he last talked to his son face-to-face, not through social media, it dawned on him that the fault was partly his. This child was sent to a boarding school early in his development.
He had been used to cramming study notes on topics he was sure were coming in exams. His father believed him to be intelligent because that is what the school reports indicated. He had the brains but lacked the ability not to quit amid pressures.
Raising a child requires dedication. Like a garden that one tends knowing that a good yield depends on the attention it is given, so is the generation to which we must bequeath what we are working for. A hard-earned name of a father is as feeble as the character of his progeny.
If you have no one to perpetuate your legacy, you have failed as a parent and the leader to point the way for the next generation. Physical and monetary provisions are good, but they are secondary.
To create a generation of integrity, parents need to find time for their children to cultivate them. This opportunity was afforded by the long COVID-19 vacation, but it is always there for those willing to take parenting seriously.
As a parent, you need to have a good rapport and friendship with your child.
Inculcate the virtue of accountability so that the child will present a report or receipts for the purchases without you asking. Accountability and taking responsibility build a foundation for many other virtues.
Many university students may not present progress reports, but a son or daughter that is free with the parents or guardians communicates the progress of the course. Problems like the one recounted above can be minimised or even avoided.
These days many things are going on in schools that no outsider will know unless the children open up. Cases of witchcraft, sexual aberrations and bullying can be kept from the watchful eye of the teachers but not from a parent that is close to their children. When a child knows you and trusts you, they will confide in you.
As you work hard to find time for those important meetings and errands, always remember that all those are meant to help you secure a future for your children. Failure to pay attention to that for which you are struggling is a great mistake.
The writer is a priest of Kabale Diocese studying in Rome
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